is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize