Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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