no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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