And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
