Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
