Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
