her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
