i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
