That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
