I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
