he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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