Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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