So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
