Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
