it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
