Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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