I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
As shirtless as possible
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
