The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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