There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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