Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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