I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
