Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
