other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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