I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
