just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
