And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
