i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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