Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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