what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
