How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
