i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Randomize
