Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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