If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize