the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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