he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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