it wasn't lemon gatorade
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
How naked do you want me to be?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
