The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
