I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
