A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
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