i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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