I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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