you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
