Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
