i may or may not be watching the land before time
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
