3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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