i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
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