dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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