i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
