Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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