I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
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