Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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