OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I've blown a few things in my day
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Randomize
