On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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