He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
