Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
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