if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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