so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
