dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
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