Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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