Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
