Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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